Sookie Stackhouse http://sookienorthman.posterous.com More than just a waitress from Bon temps posterous.com Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:14:00 -0700 Eternity http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/eternity http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/eternity

Two Souls, two people in chains,

Torment beset their true path. 

Blood spils, tears fall, 

Screams pierce the night.

 

Two Hearts, conflicted,

Afraid to follow their dreams.

The madman comes, fire erupts

Fear stalks them both.

 

Two people, of different worlds,

Come together side by side.

Walking through fire, they join

Love binds them close.

 

Two Lovers, standing tall,

Driving away the madman.

The Chains fall, Victory Assured

Their Eternal Journey begins....

 

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:11:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 15 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-15 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-15

I have I think come to the end of my journey down here, learning many things about myself and my situaltion. I have had so much time to think down here and I have come to many conclusions.

 

I have learned to accept what I am. At least now I have an explanaion for what I am, for why everyone has looked at me funny. Not that I can tell anyone of course cause they will look at me with even more contempt than they normally do. What this means in terms of my life I have no idea as yet but in time I will find out.

 

I have realised that I cannot trust Bill. His actions, his reactions and his behaviour recently have convinced me that he is hidin somethin and I aint gonna stop at nothin until I find put what it is. I know judgin by his reactions and stuff that it aint gonna be pretty but I have to know.

 

I have began to, despite being held down here by him, that I am falling for Eric. Lookin back it has been a long time coming. When he kissed me, held me, I knew that for sure. The look in his eyes when we broke the kiss told me he may have felt somethin too.

 

And there is my BIGGEST REGRET

 

We face our fate...Pam...Eric and I and I go to that fate and My possible death having never told Eric how I feel.

 

Diary I will say goodbye  to you now. I have reached my conclusions and I know I am a changed person and will never be the same again. Whether I end up alone or in an other relationship time will tell but one thing I wanna do before I die is look into those deep perfect blue eyes as his strong arms wrap around me and pull me close to him. Beofore he kisses me I would say

 

Eric...I LOVE YOU

 

FIN

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:10:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 14 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-14 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-14

Today is the beginnin of the END...I KNOW it is... 

 

I KNOW Eric will live

 

I KNOW Pam will be fine

 

I KNOW that should I live through this I am gonna be alone. If I do not live I would like to hope that Eric would give me a nice funeral...but NO I AINT gonna be thinkin of that today.

 

I know that what I have had down here has been a fantasy...a beautiful one but a fantasy...I have seen my friends relationships suffer and fall, I have felt the pain as Bill tore my heart apart. real life just never meets fantasy...

 

I would live to be proved wrong...made a fool of for thinkin this, swept off my feet into a pair of strong arms and kissed like there is no tomorrow. But that is only for my romance books.

 

I am a strong girl, I am a fighter and I aint gonna die without one hell of a fight.

 

When it comes to my HEART

 

I am FRAGILE

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:09:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 13 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-13 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-13

This whole situation that i have found myself in points to one thing and there is gonna be a nasty outcome for someone.

 

I will never forget for as long as I live the look in Eric's eyes when he confessed that he was sayin goodbye to me. But then how long is that gonna be?

 

I need to face up to the fact that like Eric I may not live much longer. I know that he would never do anythin directly to let that happen, I know I am here cause he is tryin to keep me safe but Russell is unhinged, where Eric is focussed and stable. Eric's intentions are good but if Russell was to get near me....then I may not live amd i know that.

 

I am not gonna cry though! I am gonna try and fight and not give up but there are some things I cannot do and fight off Russell is one of them.

 

Now as I sit here and face the prospect of my own death...what do I regret....there is really only one thing....That I met Bill First...

 

I often wonder what would have happened if I had met Eric first, I used to do this at first out of some kind of morbid curiosity, but now...bein confronted with my own mortality it has become a serious thought in my head.

 

There are so many things i wanna say to him, I think I will burst and now I fear that they will remain unsaid, as silent as my cold body laid in the coffin that Jason chooses for me

 

I hope I can hang on and fight  so I may have the chance to say what I want to say to him.

 

I do not want my last words to him to be

 

GOODBYE

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:07:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 12 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-12 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-12

I have just roused myself finally dear diary but it was with reluctance and trepidation for I did not want to face reality for as long as I could. and now that I am facin reality and the hopeful end of my time here all I can do is write down what I can remember of that place, so that I may treasure it in future dire times.

 

I was not here when I slept, I do not know where I was, not really. I was in a vast living room with big comfy lookin sofas piled with cushions and it was all dimly lit, mainy by the roarin log fire that dominated one wall. I was sitting on a big rug in front of the fire, just lost in my thoughts and listening to the noises of the night creatures from outside. I was not alone though, Eric was with me, lying beside me on the rug just talkin about stuff.  Just normal stuff, you know gettin to know each other stuff. I was lazily playin with his hair as we talked and shared things about ourselves. As the fire glowed brightly we lost all track of time, nothin exisited beyond that room and it was as though we were only livin for each other. We talked all night, till sunrise and he carried me off to the light tight bedroom where we fell asleep in each other's arms. We were in blissful unconsciousness, safe and away from any dangers there might be. All were forgotten as we lay in this haven.

 

The next night we walked in the moonlight in the most beautiful woods I had ever known, Eric showed me the stars and told me of them, he told me things of his life both human and vampire, that he had never shared before. I told him of mine both the good times and the pain. he held me close when I talked of the pain to comfort me and I appreciated that. We walked on to a beutiful lake and sat at the shore for a while, mr resting in Eric's arms while he leant against a tree and we enjoyed the silence.

 

In the beauty and serenity of that place we kissed solwly and deeply. lettin our natural urges and feelings for each other take over us. Eric made gentle love to me by the shore of that lake, the moon and stars our only companions. Where we had known each others lives the night before, tonight we were knowin each others bodies in every way, sharin each other's desires and needs, sharing each others blood as we let our guards fall away along with our clothes. I gave myself to him over and over that night, till the mornin scents invaded the air and we escaped back to the safety of the house.

 

We spent our time like this, in this little cocoon of pleasure, knowin only each other, livin for only each other. All had ceased to exist outside this place and no trouble, danger, pain or strife could invade.

 

I wish it really could be like this but I know that this is unlikely and therefore I have to settle for my dream and my memories of it....

 

I will still wish for it though....HARD....

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:06:00 -0700 Basment Diaries Entry 11 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basment-diaries-entry-11 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basment-diaries-entry-11

I may be down here literaly chained up and imprisoned in "protective detention" but I realise that I am not alone in bein imprisoned, nor is this physical binding the only thing that has kept my captive.  What I am, the thing that makes me different has also done this to me. it imprisoned  me from an early age for I could never really date guys and also if I wed well...nothing could be hidden from me. I was literally a pariah to humans.

 

Then came the Vampires and now I know that I am intoxicatin to them cause of my Blood. Talk about 1 extreme to another here. The big plus with vampires though is that I can actually be normal with em. I do not know what they think nor will I ever so I have to ask em, like normal human couples do which is sweet in a way.

 

Mind you though now that I currently am without a partner why should I even worry about things which hold my heart and stuff prisoner. I should be more concerned about my current predicament.

 

But maybe I think of htis cause it helps me understand my situation, that the one holdin me prisoner is likewise a prisoner.

 

He Just Don't Know It....

 

Or Maybe He Does and does not ADMIT IT...

 

I guess in our own way

 

WE ARE BOTH IN CHAINS

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:02:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 10 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-10 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-10

 I feel like I am flying, the chain has fallen from my neck and I feel arms under me. I open my eyes and look up into Eric's face. He is slightly grave in his expression and his eyes seem to show pain today. I am held tightly in his arms as though I was soemthin precious to him. He feels my movements as I wake and looks down, kissing me soflty yet sayin not a word as he carries me upstairs.

 

I am perplexed, this is not like Eric, not like him at all and I am worried by this change in him. There is no, quick wit, no smartassed comment, not even a smirk. He is just gravely silent as he carries me into the office and lays me on the couch.

 

He pulls a chair over as I sit up and looks at me, just sits there looking intently. His eyes blazing but not with Lust which was what I expected to see. Instead I see pain, some sorrow too. I look at Eric in shock, feeling

my heart throb for the sight I see. He is not his usual self, I feel his pity and subconsciously put my hand on his knee and watch as his hand falls on top of mine.

  

"Eric...ah are you allright?"

"I will be soon...one way or another."

I frown "What the hell is that meant to mean?"

"I will either have my vengeance or I will be no more Sookie. Either way I will be fine."

 

Eric's last statement shocks me, that he is actually willing to face death. I thought before he had been flippant to get what he wanted at the time, but now, looking deep into his eyes I see the truth. He has seemed to accept that he may not come back from this battle, though he will be avoiding that at all costs, he has still thought about the possibility;

 

"Why am I here? ah I mean in the office Eric?"

"It is near the End, Sookie, there is something I need to finish."

"Finish, Eric?"

"I started something with you Sookie"

"You started actin as though I was never gonna see you again."

"You may not and I do not want to leave you without..."

 

 He cuts his speech short as his llips fall on mine, his arms pulling me into him in a gentle embrace while his soft kiss probes my mouth deeply his tongue massaging mine as his fangs come out. He pulls me on to his lap and I wrap my legs around him as we kiss, the passion building. Eric was aroused, you could really tell with him. Eric's hands werer at the bottom of my shirt, pulling it over my head, while mine were holgind the back of his head and neck as we break our kiss and look at each other.

 

He lifts me off of him and removes his short and pants, standing there completely naked and very aroused. I look in his eyes and see that familiar lustful spark, which I now find comforting. I look at that spark as Eric's hands work on removing the rest of my clothes fast.

 

He lies me on the couch, softly before joining me, his body pressing against mine as his lips find mine. We kiss gently and slowly as our hands explore each other, feeling every inch of skin, every bone, every muscle as we move. I lick his fangs as we kiss and I feel his fingers massage me deeply as he slips inside me. I feel him stirring greatly as that part is pressed against  my stomach, my hands planted firmly on his taut butt.

 

He feels I am getting ready for him and he looks into my eyes and sees the gkimmer which tells him I am ready, I feel him move as my hand reaches down between us to guide him inside me. He moves inside me slowly, and gently. I hold into him while he cradles me until he finds his pace. He makes love to me slowly, sweetly and tenderly while he kisses me.

 

My eyes remain open, looking into his as we move towards our conclusion. I feel my body shake as the delicious tingles rush through me like ripples on the suface of a lake. I am still looking into his eyes as he begins to succumb to his own pleasures, speaking in that ancient tongue I like...only this time, there are tears of blood in the corner of his eyes.

 

He moves off the couch and swicthes, so I lie on top of him and I look down at him, concerned for the tears.

 

Eric's chest moves, unexpectedly, in a huge sigh "NOW I can face True Death" he whispers. "I have known you now, I have loved you. If this is to be my last battle, then I will go to it knowing this Sookie, knowing you completely."

 

Tears begin to fall from my eyes which are caught by Eric's thumb as he brushes them away, lifting me off of him we sit in the couch facing one another;

 

"Do not cry, you MUST be strong"

"Why when I feel like this is the end?"

"it may not be, if you stay strong we CAN and WILL prevail"

 

He  strokes my neck gently and moves in closer, biting me gently, drinking me deeply. I groan as he bites me and my eyes close. When I open them Eric has moved his wrost to my mouth and instinctively I begin to drink his blood. He caresses the back of my head and I drink, pulling away after I have had what he thinks is enough before kissing my bloody lips hard.

 

"You will be strong now I have seen to that."

"How Eric?"

"Do not doubt it Sookie"

 

he hands me my clothes and we dress fast beofore Eric scoops me up in his arms again and carries me back down to the basement just like Rhett and Scarlett.

 

He kisses me pasionately before chaining me once more. As he leaves he takes a close look at me, as though he was tryin to remember me forever.

 

"I will see you again Sookie"......

 

I gasp and am awake bolt upright in the Basement and utterly utterly rattled

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:00:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 9 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-9 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-9

 I am back Dear Diary and happier, stil confused but that will pass I am sure.

 

My mood turns to whimsy...must be this place gettin to me but hey this occupied me and I am gonna save it for future reference.

 

When I was at Sunday School as a little girl we were taught the Seven Deadly Sins. During my time here I have been thinkin if I have broken any of em...

 

PRIDE....When I staked Lorena and Kicked Debbie's Ass

 

GREED...this was only in a dream but I wanted it all, does that count?

 

ENVY...Not really....well maybe but I aint confessin

 

GLUTTONY....I plan on this when I get outta here!

 

SLOTH...being stuck down here counts for this one

 

WRATH...Wanting Russell Dead for messin with me!

 

LUST...ah 2 words....ERIC NORTHMAN

 

Well if I am gonna go to hell accordin to this....maybe I should just lie back and enjoy the ride...either that or get in my knees and start prayin....HARD

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:58:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 8 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-8 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-8

 I find myself full of tears as I write this dear diary, so forgive me if the pages get wet. Eric never came last night which was not like him. Apparently he was not even in Fangtasia which was really not like him. I find myself lost right now for he is the only one who seems to kind of understand the danger I am in, for he is in it too. I find that he is the only one I can cling to, to keep me safe from all of this and hopefully liberate me from this nightmare.

 

We both have common enemies I think, though for very different reasons. We both want Russell out of our lives, preferably dead so we can have peace. With Russell gone there would be no damn Weres either and maybe they will all stop comin after me cause of my Fae blood. I know it is a tall order but a girl can dream.

 

He never came though. Does this mean he has met the True Death? or has he been captured? I am beside myself with worry and I do not know why. Is this my sense of self preservation, for if he were gone who would keep me safe from Russell...

 

Or is it somethin deeper, something that craves to see him, hear his voice and even see that smirk again? Somethin that makes me wanna run to him wrap my arms round him and cover him in kisses.

 

I cannot write anymore here....I am too overcome *criying hard*

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:56:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 7 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-7 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-7

The edge

 

Standing, looking down and behind me,

Wind whipping through my hair.

Rain of tears, fog surrounds,

One clear view...

Down....

 

 

Seeing the sapphire of your eyes,

Your marble form.

Golden haired, lustful smirk,

I teeter...

My eyes close...

 

Behind me, I know what lies there,

Pain, Deceit, Betrayal...Familiarity.

Below me, Viking Fire,

I move...

I fall...

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:53:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 6 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-6 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-6

The longer I spend down here the more time I have in the silence, with only my own thoughts to keep me company I see the battle goin on inside me and all around me. I am not talkin of Bill or Weres, Russell or Sophie. No, this concerns Eric and him alone.

 

I am glad I have you diary, that I can share this stuff with you otherwise i would burst into greater fits of confusion than I currently am in, which is sayin a LOT.

 

if I am honest, this battle has been stirrin inside since the day I first went to fangtasia and was summoned to meet Eric. The look in his cool blue eyes should have told me that he was not gonna be lettin me get too far from his notice and in some cases his sight. The work I did for him, the fact that he agreed to my terms should have alerted me but no. I was foolish and naieve then and I thought safe. My naievety has slowly been stripped away with each passin encounter with Eric, even more so since he ah put himself in my way as it were, to be there to help me, to protect me, so much so that he was able to get his blood inside of me.

 

Ever since then things have become well strange. I close my eyes in sleep and I see him. At first I was afraid of what was goin on, that I was losin my mind and my senses. Things were very intense in the dreams but I had always assumed the blood was talkin, takin me over and telling me about Eric. That was till the last dream. Then I began to question..did I really like it? do I really have feelings for him?

 

He was ah right about my instinct...was he right about this too? I would have dismissed it out of hand until he kissed me. Though I resisted at first it was impossible to do so and ulitmately I kissed back..I enjoyed it and I mean really did so. I felt his passion and his own fears as he kissed me. Ever since then I have thought about what would have happened had we been left alone.

 

Sometimes I think that I would have been able to fight it and resist, other times I would have given in to him and let him win...

 

Now I am here, and understanding that in his own perverse way he has done this for my own protection. I have thought  a lot about him. The thought of him meeting final death now fills me with dread. For a Vampire he is so full of life and he has a humour that strangely enough I have grown fond of. I cry sometimes down here as I think of that,  guess I would miss him more than I would admit to his face.

 

But...is that enough to give in to Temptation

 

Should I fall and hope he catches me?

 

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:51:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 5 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-5 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-5

it seems that my rage and ire are movin in a new direction now, the longer I spend down here in the solitary gloom I begin to see more clearly. That I am angry at Russell and Sophie Anne goes without sayin, I do not really need to think about that too much at all. I know they wanna own me, control me and use me for somethin awful and I know I do not want that to happen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for Eric....well that is another entry entirely....

 

 

 

 

 

My rage I find is being moved towards Bill. He said he loved me yet all the time I have been here he aint even bothered to rescue me. It is just like in Dallas where it was Eric who saved me, with Godric of course, and Eric who offered his own life for mine. It seems like lately whenever I have been in trouble instead of the one who claims to love me comin to my aid it has been Eric, every time.

 

 

 

 

 

Also there is the whole Lorena thing, at the first test of his faith he let me down BADLY. Yes sure I was tested and yes I was very tempted but I resisted, I used self control yet he who is so many years older than me could not.

 

 

 

 

 

Now there is somethin naggin inside of me sendin out alarm bells about trustin him. Granted Eric put the idea in my head but now I have had a chance to think things over I have to grudginly admit he is right. When I learned what I am and Bill confessed about my blood I confrinted him about only wantin me for that. His words though in response seemed ah hw to put it...over elaborate? It seemed he was sayin what he thought i wanted to hear to distract me from diggin deeper, askin further and gettin to the Truth that Eric hunted at and would have told me no doubt after his ah other truth, had Pam not walked in.

 

 

 

 

 

I have to face facts and those are that with regards to the Bill issue anyway...

 

 

 

 

 

Eric is right...

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:45:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 4 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-4 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-4

Things to do down here...

 

Think (doin constantly)

Sleep

Eat (if I am fed)

Dream (Please not of Eric!!!! or uh well maybe?)

count the cracks in the ceiling (there are none) 

Find a Big Stick (done...ready to be used)

Find a loose length of chain to see if I can rattray Eric

Slap Eric HARD....Real Hard...

See if I can get visitors

Get Pam to get me some clothes and let me have a shower

Get Pam to teach me card games

Get some music down here

Get some magazines down here

Get some cards down here so I can build card houses and play card games

Ask for a Fur collar or somethin to stop this damn collar chafin

Draw on the wall (if I can find a pen)

Suggest interior design tips

Suggest they get plubming down here

Ask for a bed ( single mind...I do NOT want Eric gettin any more ideas!)

Check there are no rats down here (If there are I swear I will scream the place down)

Try and find things to pick the locks on my collar

Have Pam give me a makeover

Question trusting Bill (Done and he IS hidin somthing I tell you)

Consider whether Eric is a total sadist or whether he is ACTUALLY doin this for my own good

Replay THAT kiss (already doin oooohhhhhhh)

Send for Takeout

Get Pam to mail order stuff for me (ERIC is BUYIN!!!!)

Try and get someone to Hug me

Get Pam to teach me Swedish, especially how to swear!

Think of new insults to Hurl at Eric (He has heard all the ones I know before) 

Try and discover my creative side

Ask for a clock so I know the time of day

Weigh up the pros and cons of being here

Give Eric what he wants...whatever than may be (LAST RESORT and only if I can get outta here!)

 

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:41:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 3 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-3 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-3

I am in that sort of drowsy state, you know when your body is awake but your eeys are still closed and you are deciding whether or not to wake up, when I hear the "click". I feel the collar fall to the ground and suddenly feel lighter without it pinioning me in place.

 

I am lying stretched out on my side so I do not cramp when I feel a hand stroke my hair and work it's way down my body, settling on my waist. I am too scared to open my eyes for fear of what I am gonna see.

 

Reluctantly my eyes flicker open and it is as I suspected. I am starin into 2 azure eyes and that smirk, which I am dying to wipe off of that marble face. Eric is lying on his side looking at me as I lie here, his prisoner, smirkin at me as I remain at his mercy.

 

I lift his hand from my body and begin to wriggle away to get to my feet, but he moves too quickly for me and he is up on his feet before I know it, draggin me to mine and grippin me tightly.

 

I act fast, raising my hand to slap him, which does not succeed in either makin me feel better or wipin the smirk off of his face. Instead he laughs "Ohhhh do that again...that felt good" I am about to scream when he kisses me forecefully. I try to wriggle away and succeed but this spurs him on and he comes in again for more. I respond fr a split secnd then remember where I am and move away.

 

Eric just laughs but refuses to let me go. "Sookie, Sookie, Sookie...you know you enjoy it...you know you want more why not admit it and yield like a good girl." "Like HELL" I scream and stamp on his foot, which does no damn good. Instead he moves down past my lips and to my neck, kissing it gently, in that way which makes me go weak at the knees.....

 

I wake up with a start, flushed and fevered and mad as hell...

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:29:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 2 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-2 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-2

 

 

 

 

 

Lord Alive but this is not fun! It is so cold bein on the stone floor on my knees with this collar round my neck. I can't even stand up in the thing. I have tried to get it off to make myself country but no joy, I have sort of managed to be able to lie down on the floor now so am a little more comfortable but that aint sayin much. So now i an starin up at the ceiling in this hellhole.

 

I really do not undertsnd the attraction of this place, why so many are desparate to come down here I mean the place is horrid! All dark and gloomy with all these chains and stuff. At least when I was a prisoner in Russells I was in ah nicer surroundings. Mind you right now what I really want is to be snuggled in my own bed pullin the blankets round me all nice and safe. Or maybe soakin in a nice hot shower lettin the water caress my body...? OH LORD! Fantasisin about a Shower!!!

 

I have lost my concept of time as well which aint good. I think it is daytime cause no vamps are about, that is all I know. Seems like I am gonna have to use the club sounds and life to work out night from day and that is about all I am gonna be able to do.

 

I am still mad, REAL mad but there is also some resignation creepin in here. That maybe in his own perverse way he is doin this for my own good.

 

I just wish he would tell me WHY.....

 

TO BE CONTINUED

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 13:37:00 -0700 Basement Diaries Entry 1 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-1 http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/basement-diaries-entry-1

Hi Y'all

 

Since I am stuck down here thanks to Eric N Northman and left with a sense of not knowin who the hell to trust anymore I have nothin to do to pass the time but think and boy do I have a lot to think about.

 

Now I know what I am and BOY I never saw that comin. I always knew I was different but I thought that was just cause I was a freakish human but part FAIRY!!! Maybe even an Alien, so I was right- take that Russell!!! At least though while I am stuck here I am gonna have time to come to terms with it cause I aint got damn alk else to do but sleep and think, If I am lucky I may even get fed.

 

Sleep leads to dreams leads to...well even more confusion. I mean is it the blood or do I actually enjoy the dreams I have of Eric? Should I do as he said in the dream and just go with it? Do I have feelings for him? and is it my survivial instinct talkin when he said I am not to trust Bill instead of the Blood or his ulterior motives?

 

I am more convinced that ever that Bill is hidin somethin yet neither him nor Eric wanna give up the goods which just makes me even madder. I swear if I can find a big stick or somethin down here He is gonna GET IT!!! Right upside his head, hell it may even wipe the damn smirk off his face!

 

Then there was that Kiss before he decided to revert to type and be an asshole. For that brief moment he was decent and he actually let me see somethin of him, before he left and came back through the door as Mr Asshole and threw me in here!

 

I cannot lie, y'all know that, but I did ah enjoy it and I mean really enjoy it. We ah connected for that brief moment and he has had a LOT of practice at this how could I not respond to him. If Pam had not walked in well who knows where it was gonna go. i have a feelin that if she had not walked in it WAS gonna go somewhere. Did I want that? Now that is a question, and I have all the time to answer it....

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 13:31:00 -0700 In Russell's Mansion...A Dream Sequence http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/in-russells-mansiona-dream-sequence http://sookienorthman.posterous.com/in-russells-mansiona-dream-sequence

This was a dream I had while prisoner...Just thought I would ah share *blushes*

 

I had been dragged upstairs screaming and cursing, by Russell's filthy goon squad, after our chat as he called it. I could think of better words to describe it and chat ain't one of them. I am dumped into a gilded cage on the first floor and as the lock clicks, sealing me in, I run to the window. I am hoping that I can smash it in the morning and get out of this place. I pull back the drapes, which under other circumstances I would have done carefully since they are beautiful and ornate and I gas in exasperation. The window area is boarded light tight meaning I cannot escape that way. I look around in vain a way out and there is only one, the door |I came in which is being guarded by 2 smelly Weres, judging by their noise, the fact that I can read their thoughts and the fact that they did not smell too good when they were manhandling me. I call out to Bill, in the hope that he can hear me and somehow escape from the slave quarters and come and rescue me. it does not work of course. I could kick the door but I would only hurt myself and I would not get far from the goon squad anyway. I walk dejectedly over to the bed and throw myself on it, punching the cushions as hot tears fall onto the beautiful blankets.

 

I must have fallen asleep, or cried myself to sleep as I feel myself open my eyes, a kind of fuzzy feeling is in my head which you get when you waken up. I am sure I hear a familiar voice outside my door, addressing the guards. It takes me a second to focus and waken up and then I realise. Eric is outside my door talking to the guards. I creep silently, closer to the door to see that I can hear. I hear the gruff voice of the Were as he barks "She ain't to go nowhere...King said." I then shiver as I hear Eric's smooth tone reply "Things have changed, the King thinks that she might be more open to talking to someone she knows a little better, one that he can trust." I hear dirty laughs from the guards "Oh and that would be you then would it?" There is a pause and I hear a snarl from Eric, he must have got close to one of the guards. "It is, now do as you are told, unless you want to be a fur rug on my office floor"

I have little time and so I go carefully and quickly round the room, switching off all the lights, picking up a fire poker as I go I position myself back at the door just as the lock is clicking and hear Eric dismiss the Weres with contempt. As I hear the footsteps disappear down the hall the handle of the door slides down and a chink of light pours in. I raise the poker and get ready to swing.

 

The Doors are thrown open dramatically and in a flash my arm is grabbed and shaken so the poker falls from my grip and crashes on the floor. I struggle and lash out growling like a wildcat but it is pointless against the iron like grip. The lights are flicked back on at speed and I am then able to view Eric as he returns from closing the door. he walks back to where I am standing slowly, his blue eyes flashing and a smirk on his face which just makes me mad. "I never expected you to be so stupid Sookie. I told you to stay away but you would not listen and now in trouble again. You are good at that aren't you." Eric's speech just makes me madder and given what he had said to me earlier that is saying a . "I thought you had already said all you were gonna say to me so just leave now." I say in a cold clipped tone as I turn my back on him and walk towards to bed.

BIG mistake as Eric moves past me with speed and stands in front of me again, fangs out and he does not look happy. "You turn your back on me!!!* he snarls as I stare him down defiantly. "Oh big threats from someone who declared I mean nothing to him* I retort as I push past him to head to the bed. "now say what you have to and leave I need to sleep* I continue.

 

A hand snakes round my waist and spins me round with force to face him. He smirks down and just when I think he is about to speak I feel his lips press against mine hard and firm and he pulls me into him and refuses to let me go.

 

 I am stunned at this sudden movement and very confused yet utterly aroused by it. With my brain screaming not to do it and my body willing me to continue, I let my body win and I find myself respond with equal passion, my mouth opening to let his tongue massage mine, while my tongue caresses his fangs which though had emerged from anger remained prominent due to the dizzying lust that was in the room and surrounding us. My fingers begin running through his hair and then work their way downwards to untuck his sweater as our mouths clash.

His hands have been busy too, my dress is over my head and on the floor before I even knew it had happened. I work my way lifting the sweater upwards and over his head, with his help, and it is gone too. We break the kiss and he just stands there looking at me, the intense heat burning in his eyes makes my stomach flip over as he approaches slowly, pressing himself against me, his craving for me now very apparent and I gulp, looking up into his eyes .

 

His smirk down at me makes his intentions clear, without saying a word I knew what he was going to be doing. His mouth crashes upon mine again as his hands have my bra removed before I could draw breath.

 

 We are pressed skin to skin now, his cool flesh hard against my trembling skin, growing hotter by the second as my heart rate increases sending blood surging around my body, making my veins seem more prominent than usual. Eric must have seen this as his kisses trail down my neck, his fangs lightly scraping my skin as he goes until he fastens onto my breast. A sharp moan escapes my mouth as his teeth find my nipple and sink in drawing blood from deep inside me and into him. South of my navel begins to hum and throb as he drinks deep of me and I hold onto him tightly.

 

After a few minutes he releases himself and looks at me in bewilderment as if there is something about me, about my blood that he cannot place, that it really is true and I am not human at all but something strange and unusual. His lips crash against mine with increasing hunger and I taste my own blood on his crimsoned lips. His arms entwine my body and move slowly down to discard my panties from my body, revealing me to him in my vulnerable nakedness.

 

Stepping back the look in his eyes says all I need to know about his approval of me and he moves back suddenly picking me up as though I weigh nothing at all and he marches purposefully towards the bed.

 

He lays me down as though I am a china doll, which I did not expect and removes his pants and suchlike with great speed that Vampires are known for. I could clearly see he was in the mood for this and I looked at him wide eyed. Being as I had had only 1 lover before, Eric was a lot bigger than I was used to and a slight fear of the pain crossed my mind as I lay there before him. The rest of my thoughts were concerned with him and him alone, his beautiful form in all it's naked glory got me to thinking about the pictures of the fine marble statues that I saw when I was at school and how he would eclipse them all.

 

He clambers on the bed beside me and we resume in our kissing, feeling as though fire was surrounding our bed. I knew then that there was no going back and even if I could I did not want to. His hands were busy exploring me, wanting to know every inch of me, every curve and dimple, as my hands trailed down his back and kneaded his butt. His fingers rubbed tantalisingly on my nub before sliding inside me. I gave a long slow moan as his fingers moved deftly inside me.

 

I could feel my body warm to him and respond to his touches and my back arches as the tingling and wetness flow from me. I close my eyes for a second and when I open them Eric is above me, looking down on me with his sapphire eyes blazing in the dim glow of the bedroom lights. He begins to move himself above me so he is fully on top of me now, lowering his cool body against mine. Tentatively my hand reaches between us and I feel his penis stir and move under my touch. I bring him closer into me and rub him against my clit before guiding him in slowly.

 

I thought I was prepared for him but I was not and I gasp sharply, biting my lips and closing my eyes and my back arches up to meet his body. I open my eyes and he is looking down at me smirking, staring intently at me as he finds his rhythm inside me. He moves slowly with consideration for me, holding me close to him as he drives deeper into me, more deeply than I have ever felt before.

 

I kiss him passionately, slowly feeling his fangs with my tongue as each stroke sends sweet dizzying lust surge through my body like electricity. Eric growls lowly as he explores me, seemingly intoxicated by the experience as I am. He begins to move faster now, holding me to him so he can get in further, the new angle driving me crazy as I moan softly, trying not to make too much sound so we are not heard . I feel the buzz inside me become a roar and I feel as though I am teetering over the precipice of complete abandon into pleasure.

 

The movements of our coupling become deeper, I move my hips against him , rubbing on my swollen clit before giving myself over and letting go....

 

The rush of extreme pleasure zings through me like wildfire and only Eric's lips on my mouth stop me from screaming the entire room down. I jolt and jerk as the aftershocks rage through me and I hear a low growl and another language come from Eric's mouth as he succumbs to his own pleasure.

 

We fall back together on the bed, satiated, my predicament forgotten during our time. I turn on my side to face Eric who looks down at me with concern. I am about to speak when he places a finger to my lips and moves in close to me. In a whisper he says, "Do not doubt that all I say and do right now is for your own protection. Never question that. There are things going on here that one day I will tell you about, but not now My Lover. Sleep now Sookie, I will get a message to Alcide and we will get you out of here fast."

 

I nod my head in silent understanding as Eric kisses me before climbing off the bed, dressing quickly and exiting the room, locking the door behind him

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